While having dinner at the Soup Plantation recently, I witnessed something that nearly broke my heart. For those of you not familiar with the Soup Plantation its a restaurant where you get your own food as opposed to ordering it and having someone bring it to you.

We were sitting near another family and I noticed a young girl, around 14 years old, bring her dad a bowl of soup. In that moment I was thinking how nice she was to do that for him until he started giving her a hard time about the soup not being the one he asked for. He said things like; You never listen. Youre always making stupid mistakes. If I want it done right I should just do it myself.

The young lady simply apologized to her dad and went back to get him the right bowl of soup. Now I have no idea about the history of this family, and maybe she doesnt listen well enough to do things right the first time a lot, but what I do know, is the more we are beaten up for our mistakes, the more we are going to have a hard time learning from them and the more we will continue creating the same mistakes.

If youve been given a hard time for past mistakes whether its from your own Gremlin or someone else, its only natural to be gun shy the next time around. And the problem with that is when youre gun shy, youre not relaxed. When youre not relaxed, you cant think clearly, and when you cant think clearly, you tend to make more mistakes. When you make more mistakes youre more afraid to play full out in life. It can be a vicious cycle.

But theres another way to deal with mistakes that gives you enough confidence so you learn from them quickly and grow at the same time. When I was 13 years old I did something really stupid, but the way my parents handled it shaped me to feel the way I do about my mistakes and how I treat others when they make mistakes.

One day, after my parents went out for the afternoon, I decided I wanted to know what it felt like to drive a car. So I grabbed the keys, pulled the car out of the garage and drove backwards down the driveway. Perfect execution. Now all I had to do was put the car back into the garage, driving forward. Piece of cake. Not! As I pulled in I slammed into the left side of the garage smashing the headlight and severely denting the corner of the car, not to mention cracking some of the wood on the side of the garage.

Im sure you can imagine the fear that ran through me as I waited for the return of my parents. When they walked into the house I burst into tears and apologized on hands and knees. Without saying a word, they went and looked at the damage. When they came back into the house, they simply asked, What did you learn from this mistake?

I honestly dont remember what I said but what I do remember what they said.

The hell you put yourself through waiting for us to come home is probably punishment enough. Everyone makes the wrong choices in life from time to time and as long as we learn from those mistakes were ahead of the game.

And they added, If you ever do anything like this again the consequences will be very different. I got the message loud and clear.

I realize not everyone is a lucky as I am to have had an experience like that with their parents. However, as an adult, you get to now decide how youre going to feel about your mistakes and how youre going to react to the mistakes others make. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others in your life is the opportunity to really be okay with the mistakes, learn from them, let them go, and move on.

Without mistakes you wouldnt learn, grow, have certain experiences, gain wisdom and knowledge. Mistakes give you the opportunity to lose the need to be perfect. Losing this need frees you up to take more risks in life, (hopefully smarter ones than trying to drive at 13), forge a path for self-discovery and go after your dreams.

Heres a few of my favorite quotes on mistakes:

By ignorance we mistake, and by mistakes we learn Proverb

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one Elbert Hubbard

If I had my life to live over again, I'd dare to make more mistakes the next time Nadine Stair

If you have a really hard time forgiving yourself with mistakes and they stop you in your tracks more than propel you forward, I invite you to do this exercise:

Fold a piece of paper in half length-wise. On the left side, list the top 5 mistakes youve made in your life. On the right side, write down the lessons you learned from each of those mistakes and any benefits those mistakes ended up creating in your life. If youve got more than 5 youd like to address, then go for it!